I won't be working with Microcosm anymore

Here is Microcosm's statement and my response.

Microcosm's Statement:
It has been way too long since Cindy Crabb asked us to write a public statement regarding allegations of Joe Biel’s history of emotional abuse and manipulation. It is not because we have chosen to ignore this issue. On the contrary, we have spent many hours discussing this topic. But we are not writing today to provide excuses. We hope to provide some answers and to encourage more questions.

Cindy is right that collectives need to confront abuse in all its forms by members within their collectives, even if it is just a collectively-ran business, but especially when that business lays claim to radical politics. It is for this reason that we want to say that we do recognize Joe’s history of emotional abuse and manipulation. Not just with Alex, but within other relationships as well. We know that Joe has been involved in one failed mediation attempt with Alex. We also know that he was involved in a more recent process that fell apart (this was outlined in posts by Cindy and Alex). Unfortunately, the collective was made aware of this latter accountability process only shortly before it fell apart. We, the collective and Joe, have recently started working with a counselor who is helping us to reconcile many issues within the collective. We do not believe this is a replacement for a larger accountability process, but we do see it as an important first step for our involvement and for the betterment of Microcosm as a collectively-ran company.

We recognize and agree with the statement put out by the Athens Support Network, who mediated the last accountability process.

“Joe is in therapy, and we feel that he is making progress through therapy. He has identified a large number of behavior issues and has done work and continues to do work to change them. He believes that he honors Alex’s experience. We, however, feel that he still has extreme problems with control, manipulation, defensiveness, and portraying himself as the victim.”
We have noticed some positive improvements in Joe’s behavior, but he does have a long way to go. We do believe that he can work through this and therefore choose, at this time, to continue working with him. We welcome suggestions on how we, the collective, can better facilitate this process. In the meantime, we will continue to work through this and figure things out as we go.

Cindy also pointed out that she would like more transparency about how things are run at microcosm. For that reason, we will soon be releasing some information on our website about how we run things. We honestly want to be a more transparent organization (which is why we’ve started posting annual financial statements). Over the past year, we have begun to change and implement a lot of new policies to help spread power among all of the collective members. We are excited about these changes and equally excited to share them with you.

Alex was right in that we need to hear from you. We know that Microcosm could be better and we want it to be so. For that reason, we need to know what it is that you think we need to fix. We’ve already heard some great things and we’ve worked to improve those. We’ll share more about that later, though. We want the focus to stay where Cindy and others have asked us to focus it for now - on Joe’s accountability.

Thank you Cindy, Alex, Ciara, and everyone who has put pressure on us to make change. It is a wonderful example of collective action. And we hope it proves that while we may be relatively large in the zine world, we are still just a small group of people who still love the community we are a part of and hope to make it a better place.

With sincerity and humility,
The Microcosm Collective


In response to Microcosms statement about Joes manipulative and abusive behavior.

This statement is to let it be known that despite Microcosms recent public statement finally acknowledging Joe Biel’s abusive and manipulative behavior, I will not be distributing Doris though Microcosm any longer. They published Doris 23, the Doris Anthology, the Support zine and Learning Good Consent, so I don’t have control of those publications.

In July, 2010, I asked Microcosm to write a statement, or have each collective member contact me with a personal statement, as a precondition to my continuing to work with them. I was following my sincere belief that organizations should have a chance to admit to the abusive behaviors of members, and that as long as they show a commitment to change, they should not necessarily be shunned. Below is part of the statement I made.

I believe that collectives, even when they are just collective businesses, are responsible for confronting issues of patriarchy (and other forms of domination) within their collectives, and working on change and transparency. I believe that Joe's behavior stems from patriarchy … the communication/manipulation models he uses are … patriarchtical.
In order to feel comfortable continuing to be published by Microcosm, I would need to know either from each collective member or from the collective as a whole (with a minority dissenting opinion) that they don't think Alex was crazy or that the attempts to deal with the situation are a witch-hunt. I would need to know from each member, or the collective as a whole (with a minority dissenting opinion,) that the collective recognizes that Joe still has issues with control and manipulation… I need to feel like the collective takes this seriously and does not put the burden of instigating change on the survivor/s, or on people negatively affected by Joe's behavior.

I do believe there are good people who work at Microcosm. I don’t want those people to suffer because of Joe’s behavior. I wanted to give the workers at Microcosm a chance to show their commitment to confronting Joe’s manipulative behavior, and a chance to make a strong stance against abuse. The statement that was recently released by Microcosm is too little, too late. I can’t believe it took 6 months to write a statement that could easily be summed up as “we agree with the statement made by the Athens Support Network.” Microcosm’s statement gives the impression that Joe has made more changes than he has.

I was hopeful that Microcosm might be able to take a strong stand against abuse. I feel like they failed. If this statement had come out immediately, and they had followed up with concrete examples of change months later, that would have been great. If they had waited six months and come up with a statement that firmly placed the responsibility of change on Joe’s feet, discussed concrete changes the collective was making to deal with his abusive behavior, and took a strong stand against abuse, that would have been great. This statement is very weak, particularly considering that Joe’s abuse has been known for years.

There have also been a number of incidents and issues that have come up since I made my request for a public statement that have contributed to my decision to not work with Microcosm anymore:

- I had asked that a public statement be made or that each collective member contact me with a statement about their beliefs. I received two statements, both of which referred to problems between Joe and Alex; neither called it abuse.

- Joe wrote a statement about his behavior, which I found extremely disturbing. Among other problems, it was very minimizing of Alex’s experiences of abuse, and minimizing of the extent of his current manipulative behavioral problems.

- I had a number of business discussions with people at Microcosm, where the communication was unclear and I felt like I was being manipulated.

- I was told by someone at Microcosm that they were unclear what exactly Microcosm would need to do for me to continue working with them. This was months after I had made these conditions known. Often, in accountability situations, the perpetrator and the people who benefit from continued friendship/relationship with the perpetrator want to know exactly what needs to be done to fix it. This need for an exact recipe puts the burden back on the survivor/people who support the survivor.

All of these things have added to my feeling that the collective is not taking Joe’s abusive patterns seriously.

I would like to take this chance to clear up some misconceptions about the accountability process I was involved in with Joe:

In late 2009, Joe told me that he had been in intensive therapy, had changed, and had no way of clearing his name. I helped set up an accountability team that was designed to confirm that Joe had recognized and changed his behavior; to help him deal with rumors, and to help him make amends. It was not designed to be a full accountability process.

Early on, it became clear that Joe still had very abusive/manipulative behaviors and that he was unwilling to own up to most of it. Joe had lied about the level of changes he had made. Because of this, the accountability process was disbanded.

I am disgusted by Joe’s abuse of his former partner, disgusted by his continuing manipulative behavior. I do not think he has even begun to make the kinds of fundamental changes necessary. I take abuse very seriously and while I think there are some people in Microcosm who are committed to working for a world without abuse, I also think there is complicity within the organization. I have been disturbed by my recent interactions with people working at Microcosm. I am glad they made a public statement, and that they have a counselor helping them deal with internal issues but am skeptical about their priorities, since they have not posted their public statement on their website. I feel mistrustful of the organization. I have a hard time not thinking that most people just signed on to the statement, hoping to save their pants. I understand that they have been working to be more transparent. I hope that they are able to change. I, however, will not be working with Microcosm any longer.

new zines in the distro! and music!

at my distro click here for distro

the ovens. CDR
Featured band of the season! The Ovens! Two peice feminist band from Chicago! Check it out by clicking here!listen to This Disaster Was Brought To You By Heterosexuality

Keep Track: Pocket Calender
This is my little calender and pocket organizer! Cute drawings! Fits in your pocket! There are two pages for each month, with four blank pages with little drawings for taking notes and making lists.
The calender part has blank spots for you to fill in the dates, so that you can start at any time, but if you want me to fill it in, I will.

When the Crash Meets Something Solid Issue #002: Hewers of Water
stories, essays, and poetry about drug addiction; sex work - which she did at first by choice, and then how it got twisted; abuse, and survival
powerful and good

The Worst: A Compilation Zine on Grief and Loss: Issue 2
A new issue of this beautiful zine, thick and full of stories and articles about grief and dealing with death.
I read it a month ago, and I can't remember for sure, but it seemed like this one had more stories from people who were a little older and had more time/distance from the deaths they were writing about, where as the first issue seemed more immediate. Both are so useful! Both have a wide variety of stories.

Truckface #14
Excellent zine! about her second year of teaching high-school. very funny, extremely tragic, inspiring, depressing, politics, comics, everything you could ask for. I love this zine!
It also has stories about life outside of school - starting a feminist band (the Ovens), bad roommates, and more!
Every new teacher and everyone thinking of becoming a teacher should read this, plus everyone else should too!

Truckface #13
Thick little zine about LB's first (hellish) year of teaching highschool. In which she gets named "The Nose" by her students. Deals with a class of 8 bad apples - and how to teach, how to stay sane. Almost decided to not continue teaching. Deals with the religious right protesting at the school (for having a Gay-Straight Alliance), this zine is great and has a million funny/sad stories.
I wish all my friends who were going into their first year of teaching could read this zine! and everyone else too!

Truckface #12
"How do you become an authority figure when you yourself are anti-authoritarian? Questions that should have been asked prior to enrolling in teaching school."

student teaching in Chicago - dealing with bitter, assimilationist teachers; desperation and violence among students (24 students murdered this school year... and school authorities decided that tucking in shirts is the solution); dancing in class with the students, students talking about racism and discrimination, immigration, bravery.

When Lanugage Runs Dry #3:A Zine for People with Chronic Pain and Their Allies
another issue of this great zine. Issue #3 has a beautifully written peice about brain injury; an article about parenting with chronic pain; a comic/theory about Fibromyalgia and invisible illness; a conversation/interview between a step-mother and daughtor about what it was like to have a step-mother who was experiencing chronic pain; and an article about the workbook Living Beyond Your Pain: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to Ease Chronic Pain

me and my horses

Sassy and Peanut

new zines to the cataloge

new zines to my distro!

Keep Track: Pocket Calender
This is my little calender. It should be out by Dec 15! Fits in your pocket! You write in the dates. There are two pages for each month, then four pages for notes between months. Perfect for if the Slingshot calender has too much space for you.

All I Want is Everything #1
Well written, articulate personal/feminist zine. The first article is about getting out of a long-term abusive relationship. There are articles about victim blaming, refusing to live in the past, pop culture, and much more. It's really good!

Love Letters to Monsters #3 / Alabama Grrrl #9 split
I haven't even finished this yet, but it is my favorite loveletters zine so far, and I'm so excited about Alabama Grrrl too!
Ciara's side is more memoir like than usual, still political, but not as much indignation. The first story is partially about her mom. I have a number of friends who's mom's are homeless or close to homeless, kind of crazy or really crazy, and there is something so confusing about mothers needing care, and when to draw the line. I struggled with it a lot with my mom, and felt so alone. I am always really grateful when people get the courage to write about their complicated relationships like this.
She writes about community and how overused that word is, and wanting laughter. writing, mental and physical health, running a distro. It's like a long story. It's good.

Alabama Grrrl is about being queer and punk in the late 90's in Pittsburgh, "Things I wished I would've known before going to grad school," a love-letter breakup letter to the violent/misogynistic scene that is happening in her town, hoping it will energize new kids to create a safer place.


Cometbus #51 The Lonliness of the Electric Menorah
A story about two bookstores in Berkeley that were started in the underground in the 60's, and we were forever trying to get our zines into. Why didn't they support us? It was strange.
This zine is almost like a fable, and is about a lot more than just these two bookstores. It's about how partnerships come together and how they get subverted. Based on long interviews with a zillion people.

Cometbus #52 The Spirit of St Louis
a story of a group of punks, how they try to make or unmake a life and scene. It's second title is "How to Break Your Own Heart, a tragedy in 24 parts.

Kerbloom 85These little pretty zines have been coming out forever, every two months. They are done on letterpress, which is the kind of printing press where you have to put each letter in one at a time.
This is my favorite one in awhile. "I would say that each of us is a star, that we form constellations, and that these constellations change."

call for submissions

Two call for submissions: one about being a survivor - and how did you survive
and one about Gender
see links and descriptions below.


dear sister anthology


Many survivors already know this: that after you are raped, you are never the same person again. More specifically, someone has died and new person is born. And like a newborn, the new person must learn first how to survive and then eventually, live.

The five stages of grief is a psychological theory. It outlines and supposes five stages of emotional battle the can occurs in the aftermath of loss.

The first stage is denial.

Survivors may tell themselves it never happened. It wasn’t rape. The person who did this is my friend, my boyfriend, girlfriend, relative, lover, spouse, neighbor. It wasn’t rape.

The second stage is anger.

Survivors can live in a room full of anger, resentment, bitterness, self-blame and self-loathing for weeks, months, sometimes years. They have recognized what has happened and the emotions are often overwhelming.

Bargaining is the third stage.

Bargaining is giving ourselves false hope because we cannot deal with our reality. We look to recover what was lost or taken. We lost our sense of wholeness and cannot deal with our brokenness, so we jump into a relationship, alcohol, drugs, work, sex…believing that if we do something, we will get what we once had. Bargaining looks different for everyone, but regardless of what the behavior is, the hope is trying to get back what cannot be recovered.

Fourth stage is depression

Nearly every survivor will combat depression in some form. Disinterest in previously enjoyed activities, frequent crying spells, trouble sleeping, sleeping too much, changes in appetite. There are numerous symptoms of depression and most survivors will describe it in two words: dark numbness.

The fifth stage is acceptance.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that we’re happy or that we don’t revisit the other stages from time to time. Acceptance means acknowledging that something has lost and we are not the same person as before. A new way of living must be learned and while the road is long, a first step was taken.

As a survivor, do you remember a certain stage you may have experienced? Do you remember moving through that part of your life? What got you through? When did you turn the corner? Who helped you?

In your letter, remember that the survivor is in a raw place, perhaps not even certain of what just happened. Focus not on the darkness, but what brought you to the next place, on what acceptance looked like for you. What brought you into the light?


call for submissions for Alex zine.
alex zine

why gender, and what is alex looking for? gender is something everybody has and few understand, despite the volumes written on the subject already. alex is looking for personal essays, poems, or other forms of expression that get at what gender means to YOU and how do you LIVE gender. topics could be about anything, and might gesture at: what is gender? how does it affect you? do you feel like you have a gender? how do you want others to see you and how do you see yourself? do your thoughts on your own gender shift? what is getting dressed like? what is it like to walk around as you? how do your political ideas about gender enter your daily life (or do they)? what else springs to mind when you think about the topic? tell some stories. this is a good chance to write something a “normal” editor wouldn’t take on, something you’re still sorting out. this is a great chance to write about something that scares you.

teaching workshop at Queer Influx, columbus ohio

I'll be teaching a workshop Nov. 13 at the Queer Influx conference in Columbus!
Check it out at http://queerinflux.wordpress.com/convergence-schedule/

new books + zines for the distro!

I have a bunch of new zines and some new books for the distro! at riot grrrr distro
Including SCAM! The First 4 Issues!

Also, I just looked at Mimi Distro, and it is so great! Check it out at mimizinedistro.wordpress.com