Monday, May 14, 2007

harmony between the sexes, pt 1

This was from my punk planet blog.

Tip 1-5: Harmony Between the Sexes

I know that these words, sex, gender, are not perfect words. And when I say man or boy I mean anyone who was ever a man or boy or who defines that way now (although sometime I might be talking about people with penis's, but I really can't stand saying people with penis's or people with cunts), and when I say girl or woman, I mean if you were or are. Also, just because you're a woman doesn't mean you have gotten rid of the patriarchy inside your head - and same with if you're a feminist boy. And this whole thing isn't to point fingers and judge, but is actually to try and help us all think about they ways we communicate and the things we do or don't do, and what we can do to be better friends to eachother.

1. Talk to girls about politics. I don't mean just blather on to them about your ideas and what great things you're doing, I mean, if you are a person who talks to guys about ideas and politics, and you have friends who are girls who are active in the world, then talk with them too. And if they don't like talking with you about ideas and politics, try and figure out what you're doing that shuts the conversation down. Know that there are other ways to talk other than debate. Also, guys talk to guys about emotions. (and look at what kinds of things you talk about with different people. Think about why, and whether you should change it.)

2. In groups of people, make sure you make eye contact with women and ask women for their ideas and input.

3. If there is a new girl in your scene, make her feel welcome and not sleezed on.

4. If you are friends with someone who feels silenced a lot (and even outspoken girls who seem like they wouldn't feel silenced still do feel that way. It is a lifetime of shittiness upon us) , make sure you acknowledge their ideas. A lot of times guys take things that were a woman's idea, and say it as if it was their own. I don't think it is usually in an intentionally shitty way, and a lot of time it might even be subconcious. (I actually do this a lot too, like I think she had a great insight or idea and she's not going to say it, and I want to get it out there in the world, so I say it like it was my idea, and some of my close woman friends have told me it makes them feel unappreciated, unheard, and made invisible. And like their ideas and contributions to the world will never be seen as their own - the credit will always go to someone with more social power.)

5. If you are a guy who sleeps with girls, use condoms! Never assume that she is on the pill or taking care of it in some other way. If you don't like condoms, work on getting use to using them. Try using lube. ( I mean, of course everyone should practice safe sex, but what I'm talking about here is taking responsibility for pregnancy)


Mary said...

hi cindy! it's me, mary. i love that you're online now! because i'm getting too lazy for letters, or too addicted to the internet, or both. xoxoxo

doris zine blog said...

Mary X-mas? is this you? I miss you.